[personal profile] sadoldmen
ft. two dudes who aren't quite sure how talking about your feelings really works

Date: 2017-08-01 05:28 am (UTC)
scanninggaydis: (pic#10478640)
From: [personal profile] scanninggaydis
[It's not really unusual for Felix and Eugene to grab a drink together these days. Far from it. They're friends, so of course they end up hanging out on a regular basis. On the Iskaulit, when they're visiting a system...it's totally run of the mill.

It's why Felix definitely hadn't thought anything about this latest invitation to hang out at a bar on the current planet the Fleet has stopped at. Why would he? It's not like the conversation's been any different from the usual anyway.

He's just...glad in general, that he hasn't managed to frak this up. It's weird to kind of get a second shot, without all the weirdness that clouded the end of that relationship. A little bit like he's gaming the system. But he knows a little better now, how to approach Eugene. And it's not like he's trying to manipulate him, or anything. He's just...trying to relate to him better.

And their relationship is...good. He's really happy that Jack eventually turned up, it was nice to see Eugene genuinely happy. Felix has a vested interest in seeing Eugene happy. He likes it when he is, because it makes him feel...good? Something he's felt for a while, if he's being honest. Which he is...partially. Kind of. He's never looked too hard at that feeling. Eugene's his friend, a really good friend, and you want your friends to be as happy as possible. Right?

Right. So. They're at this bar. Chatting. Like normal.]

Date: 2017-08-16 04:43 am (UTC)
survivalistcookbook: (Glancing up)
From: [personal profile] survivalistcookbook
[One of the benefits of having done years in journalism - even if some might raise an eyebrow at calling 'writing about food' journalism - is that chitchat comes easily even when his brain is spinning in three or four other directions at the same time. Years doing interviews and more years manning the radio alongside Jack, and the rhythm of conversation, questions and observations and quips, comes easily. He usually tries not to think about how remarkably easily it comes with Felix, in particular, even if he's a far cry from Jack's bright, quick counterpoint.

He thinks he shouldn't compare the two of them. He thinks that Jack, also, should probably stop comparing himself and Felix. Especially in that sly, encouraging way he's been doing it for awhile now, most recently peppered with sharp points of exasperation when Eugene unconvincingly tries to feint or change the topic.

Which is stupid, he's been telling himself, almost all the way up until he left to meet Felix at tonight's bar. He's fine with what this is, he keeps telling himself, because the answer is always a possible no, and Felix is a good friend regardless of whatever crazy idea Jack's nursing along and enabling. He's fine.

Whatever this is.]

You know- [It comes after a lull in the conversation, when there's room for a wry observation, a perfectly neutral rollout of an idea before he dares pose any kind of real question.] We've hit up at least one bar at every system we've been at for awhile now. Jack says we're practically dating.

Date: 2017-08-19 01:42 am (UTC)
scanninggaydis: (pic#8080155)
From: [personal profile] scanninggaydis
[It still surprises Felix sometimes, how easy it is for him to talk to Eugene. Maybe it's because they're pretty similar people. Different enough that they don't just clash, but...Eugene gets him, he feels like. He thinks he gets Eugene.

Which isn't to say this kind of friendship hasn't ever happened to Felix before. It's just...you know. He's not always a people person. Less so after all the mess that was his life back home.

But with Eugene? The conversation comes easy, most of the time. Especially when they hang out like this. Felix is as warm and at ease as he's probably ever going to be. He definitely smiles more.

Eugene's observation - or anyway, his passing along of Jack's observation - gets Felix to tilt his head to the side a little. He has a look of consideration on his face, though it's very much not that serious.]
Yeah? [He thinks about it for another few moments, and then shrugs with an easy (okay maybe slightly wry) smile.] I mean, that's definitely one way to interpret this. I guess I can see where he's coming from. I didn't realize we had that much of a routine.

[He's pretty nonchalant about it. Maybe that's a sign?]

Date: 2017-08-19 05:14 am (UTC)
survivalistcookbook: (conversational)
From: [personal profile] survivalistcookbook
[All right, not an outright laugh, good. Good . . . if he was someone with actual game, who could flirt when it isn't a sure thing. Which he is very much not, at least not right now, with Felix, here in this bar where the comfort of habit and a few good drinks makes pushing his luck feel even stupider than usual.

Even if imagining this to be something more than the usual routine makes his stomach flip giddily. Even if low light and no demands but a few hours of conversation settle his usual intensity into a warmer, subtler thing that he couldn't imagine not taking every excuse to draw out.]

Hey, sometimes you just want to go somewhere quieter and relax a little, right?

['Sometimes' of course, meaning, 'at least twice a month,' especially in systems that actually got something like a pub aesthetic.]

Date: 2017-08-31 11:45 pm (UTC)
scanninggaydis: (pic#10478642)
From: [personal profile] scanninggaydis
We do have a pretty hectic life, after all.

[His smile is smaller, his tone very faintly teasing. There are occasionally some high-drama, high-stakes moments in the Fleet. Raider attacks, parties that double as heists. Things that keep the audience amused. Apparently. But it's quieter than life back home, quieter than life had been in Camp. Quieter, he figures (knows) than Eugene's life back home too.

But then he leans back in his chair a little, nodding. His smile ends up softening a little.]

No, I get what you mean though. It's...nice. Doing this.

[Not drinking to get drunk or anything. Using the excuse of 'getting a drink' to hang out, to have a background activity. He really hadn't actually being paying that much attention to how frequent this behavior had become, but he's not surprised.

It is, after all, probably, the best thing he's got going for him in the Fleet.]

Date: 2017-09-13 03:17 am (UTC)
survivalistcookbook: (Glancing up)
From: [personal profile] survivalistcookbook
[Felix does have him there, and he snorts rather than rise to the gentle ribbing, rolling his glass between his hands. It reads as a nervous gesture, which he'd probably recognize if his brain wasn't entirely occupied with the fact that he has to ask, should probably ask now before he can telegraph or blurt something that just makes it weird, except his mind is as blank as it's ever been in front of a blinking cursor five hours before a deadline.

Nice. Doing this is nice. He agrees, except that him and his stupid husband have made it temporarily excruciating and- right, okay, fine, he has to say something or he's going to explode.]

Yeah. [He pauses. Hopes he pauses, and doesn't just blurt into asking-] So, uh- do you think this is the kind of nice that could be a date? Hypothetically?

[Smile. Take a drink. Play it cool oh god this was a mistake he's never listening to Jack again about anything, ever.]

Date: 2017-09-15 07:20 am (UTC)
scanninggaydis: (I messed up)
From: [personal profile] scanninggaydis
[.....Oh? Okay, that's not remotely in the range of anything that Felix was expecting. At all.

Although maybe he should have seen, in the few moments before Eugene sprung his question, the warning signs. He did see them actually but just hadn't had time to adequately interpret them. The fact that Eugene hadn't teased him back was probably the most telling part. Still, he's been lured into a sense of safety by the comfortable routineness of this thing that they're currently doing.

And then Eugene comes out of nowhere and asks......]

....Oh. [Felix looks completely surprised. His eyes are a little wide, and he's very still in his seat. It's a little bit like a deer in the headlights, if comparisons have to be made. But the look on his face is at least pure surprise. Not awkwardness (that can come later) or reluctance just....uncertainty. It completely wrecks his easygoing demeanor of a few moments ago and is in distinct contrast to Eugene's behavior. At least his outward behavior.] That's, uh-- You're not joking, right?

[I mean, Eugene is smiling but Felix doesn't have any reason to think that he'd do something like jokingly ask him out. That doesn't seem like Eugene's style. Which only leaves the option that he's serious, and that's....really? Felix, of all people? Oh.]

Date: 2017-09-15 06:02 pm (UTC)
survivalistcookbook: (preoccupied)
From: [personal profile] survivalistcookbook
Uh. No?

[He gives a crooked grin, and that's where the nerves start to show through, a subtle restlessness in contrast to how absolutely still Felix is.

(Shit, shit,shit-)]

I mean, if you're really monogamous or a strong 'no' I can definitely pretend I was joking. If that would help.
Edited Date: 2017-09-15 08:49 pm (UTC)

Date: 2017-09-19 02:40 pm (UTC)
scanninggaydis: (a measure of salvation)
From: [personal profile] scanninggaydis
No, you don't have to do that.

[That...comes out in more of a rush than Felix really meant it to. He just doesn't want Eugene to suddenly take back the offer before he's had time to process it, and he certainly doesn't want Eugene to think he's not interested, he just...

But it's embarrassing how quickly he answers and his stillness breaks so that he can run a hand through his hair. Felix smiles, but this time it's faintly awkward.]

Sorry. I mean...it's not that. I just didn't, um, think that you... [Oh my gods, he's embarassed for himself, this is terrible. Felix actually laughs, though, glancing down at the bar. This is ridiculous and he kind of knows it.] I was just surprised.

Date: 2017-10-02 02:54 am (UTC)
survivalistcookbook: (grin down)
From: [personal profile] survivalistcookbook
[His shoulders sink in a - well, not a sigh of relief, but he definitely hadn't realized he was holding his breath until Felix gave him a reason not to. He can't resist a smile at that laugh, though, the slow tumble and crack tension breaking as infectious as the nervousness had been.]

Well I wasn't going to be creepy about it or anything. And you know, you don't want to gamble a friendship and make everything weird.

Date: 2017-10-08 05:27 pm (UTC)
scanninggaydis: (there's only one thing you should know)
From: [personal profile] scanninggaydis
[It is kind of infectious, actually. He laughs, Eugene smiles, and just like that, Felix's own smile isn't as awkward as it was a moment ago. As he processes this, as it actually becomes a little bit more real to him...

Gods. It's a tempting offer. It's surprising how much he wants it, even if he's not entirely certain it's a good idea. A date, though. How bad could that go?]

What, uh...what made you decide to take the risk?

[Why now, of all times.]



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